Hay guys and gals,
Long time no see ay?
Well i've been up to alot of stuff over the time i've not been here.
One thing is been to America and had one of the ost awsome times a girl like me can ask for, it was sooooo much fun 8D
I will get to that soon enough in another update i think but i have another thing to write about thats just as intresting and more heart felt.
Basicly i have wondered how life works and what love really is ^^;
Me being a person who thought she was in love in her last relationsip, only to find out after that he never truely did love me...it was just a lot of silly words he thought would make me feel good (yes i split with my ex this month) we acted like friends for two of the six years we had been together and we was holding each other back alot from a future that seemed much brighter.
You ever had it where someone stays with you out of freakin pitty or to keep you happy? well thats what happend and to be truthful thats not love and your also dishonering the person cos they will never feel the real love they are ment to get from a person that can truely mean what they say right?
Well any way...back to my little story.
Another thing happend...i had my eye on someone for a wile before all that happend...I felt like i was doing something horrid behind my bfs back for even looking at the guy...yes to me this guy looked amazing ^^; you know the type, the ever so awsome one that looks so damn good and acts like the perfect person to you? you know them types of people that seem so far out of your reach you try not to bother but find yourself feeling so sorry for yourself cos you feel you want to be with them?
Well i felt exactly like that a wile ago, all the way up to the point where my relationship with my ex was so destroyed i felt i had no one...that was a week ago...but then something so obscure happend to me and i felt like i was dreaming.
I opend up to this person about how i am and my feelings...i took a leap of pure faith fearing the worst...fearing rejection, another heart shattering thing...i took that leap of hope and i found myself falling for someone who also returned the same feelings...i felt like time stopped.
Yes the guy i had my eyes on actualy showed me something i never thought i would ever know...them moments was diffrent to any other time i've ever had...he asked me.
You know what i find funny about all this...
Why is it we settle for something so little when you can reach for something thatseems so far out of reach?
Hell i never thought in a million years i would be this happy with someone that brings the best out in me.
I was willing to settle down with what i had and not fight anymore for anything higher...no life is not like that, it was not designed for settaling like that.
I have learned that even the most comfy of situations are not the best, i was actualy ready to accept that i would end up with my ex and feel what i thought was love...
I will say this to all you people out there that don't realise what is out there for your lives.
I've always been a fighter for my dreams to become an artist, i'm now a universaty student, i defied the odds of situations and disbelief of others and got this far. heck i even have alot of people supporting me now on Deviantart and i never asked for it, i just posted...it's a start.
What i'm basicly saying is do yourselves a massive favor and learn what you want before you take hold.
because in the end you are the only one to even know what lays deep down in you. You are the only person to make these changes and live with them. So basicly what i am trying to say is don't aim low cos you think it's unobtainabul, aim freakin high and take that leap cos if you don't fight for what you want you will never get it.
Me being a person who thought she was in love in her last relationsip, only to find out after that he never truely did love me...it was just a lot of silly words he thought would make me feel good (yes i split with my ex this month) we acted like friends for two of the six years we had been together and we was holding each other back alot from a future that seemed much brighter.
You ever had it where someone stays with you out of freakin pitty or to keep you happy? well thats what happend and to be truthful thats not love and your also dishonering the person cos they will never feel the real love they are ment to get from a person that can truely mean what they say right?
Well any way...back to my little story.
Another thing happend...i had my eye on someone for a wile before all that happend...I felt like i was doing something horrid behind my bfs back for even looking at the guy...yes to me this guy looked amazing ^^; you know the type, the ever so awsome one that looks so damn good and acts like the perfect person to you? you know them types of people that seem so far out of your reach you try not to bother but find yourself feeling so sorry for yourself cos you feel you want to be with them?
Well i felt exactly like that a wile ago, all the way up to the point where my relationship with my ex was so destroyed i felt i had no one...that was a week ago...but then something so obscure happend to me and i felt like i was dreaming.
I opend up to this person about how i am and my feelings...i took a leap of pure faith fearing the worst...fearing rejection, another heart shattering thing...i took that leap of hope and i found myself falling for someone who also returned the same feelings...i felt like time stopped.
Yes the guy i had my eyes on actualy showed me something i never thought i would ever know...them moments was diffrent to any other time i've ever had...he asked me.
You know what i find funny about all this...
Why is it we settle for something so little when you can reach for something thatseems so far out of reach?
Hell i never thought in a million years i would be this happy with someone that brings the best out in me.
I was willing to settle down with what i had and not fight anymore for anything higher...no life is not like that, it was not designed for settaling like that.
I have learned that even the most comfy of situations are not the best, i was actualy ready to accept that i would end up with my ex and feel what i thought was love...
I will say this to all you people out there that don't realise what is out there for your lives.
I've always been a fighter for my dreams to become an artist, i'm now a universaty student, i defied the odds of situations and disbelief of others and got this far. heck i even have alot of people supporting me now on Deviantart and i never asked for it, i just posted...it's a start.
What i'm basicly saying is do yourselves a massive favor and learn what you want before you take hold.
because in the end you are the only one to even know what lays deep down in you. You are the only person to make these changes and live with them. So basicly what i am trying to say is don't aim low cos you think it's unobtainabul, aim freakin high and take that leap cos if you don't fight for what you want you will never get it.
That applys to anything...a job, projects, hell even dreams.
Keep that fire burning cos in the end it will all pay off.
Keep that fire burning cos in the end it will all pay off.
;) i'm only looking out for you all that are reading this.
Don't make silly mistakes and give up at the first glance!
I want to thank my lovely guy for that, he showed me what it is to fight for something and not to back down.
I just hope you lot can understand and maybe take some aspects from this lot of text i've just spend 30 minuets of my time on XD
Don't make silly mistakes and give up at the first glance!
I want to thank my lovely guy for that, he showed me what it is to fight for something and not to back down.
I just hope you lot can understand and maybe take some aspects from this lot of text i've just spend 30 minuets of my time on XD
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